linaewen: (Asia on a Bulb by wizzicons)
Linaewen ([personal profile] linaewen) wrote2008-06-25 11:44 am
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If Only I Could Tell My Mom...

One of the most frustrating things about having my mom not here anymore is that I can't pick up the phone and call her to tell her of the exciting things that are happening in my life, or to complain of the less than exciting things that are bugging me.

One of those times came recently, and I actually found myself reaching for the phone to tell her some good news, and had to stop myself, lol! I wasn't sad about it when I realized I couldn't call, I was just plain miffed, hehe! After complaining to the DH that I was irritated I couldn't call my mom, I picked up the phone and called my sister and my aunt (mom's sister) instead. ;-)

Most of you on my flist know by now that my hubby and I spent considerable years in Pakistan, where we worked with a nonprofit organization, mostly doing teaching. We are still with that organization, but have been a bit in limbo over the past five years since returning from South Asia. We spent time working in the home office, but for the past three or four years we have been not really doing much of anything. ;-)

For some time now, DH and I have been pursuing an opportunity to a work with a center that aids the Paksitani community of northern Chicago with things like learning English and adjusting to the American culture and helping in all kinds of other ways. It's the perfect set up for us who have spent so much time in Pakistan, and know the language and culture, but are now living stateside. That part of Chicago is less than 2 hours from where we live now, so we can also still keep tabs on our son as he takes the next step in independence by being in charge of our house here in Wisconsin, while living in an Urdu-speaking community just like old times.

We finally got permission from our organization to move to Chicago -- and that is the good news I so badly wanted to tell my mom, lol! She had been a great source of support of our hopes and had been praying for a long time that we would find something like this to do. :-)

One reason you haven't seen me around much recently is that this past week we have been apartment hunting! Not an easy thing to do when you don't already live in Chicago. We have made several day trips recently, armed with phone numbers and appointments to view places. Even though a number of opportunities fell through by the time we got down to Chicago to look at them, we managed to see enough apartments that we were able to make a decision on one.

The place we are hoping to rent -- if we are approved -- turns out to be the very first place we viewed! It is pretty small, but new and beautiful, and located right near all the best Pakistani restaurants! And it's only one block from the Center where we will be working much of our time.

We decided on that place on Monday, and now are waiting for the landlord to approve our credit report. DH spoke with the landlord's agent this morning, and it sounds like he might be able to go down as early as tomorrow to sign a lease, if all goes well! Nothing like waiting for ages for something to happen, and then when it does, we can't keep up with it! ;-)

I am currently visiting with my my dad for a few days, but when I get home, I guess I'll have to jump into packing some things to move down to Chicago! Hopefully it won't be too hard to go back to living in an apartment after owning our own home -- but the nice thing is, our house in Wisconsin is not so far away that we can't visit it whenever we need a break from the big city. It will be the best of several worlds all rolled into one!

Now if only I could tell my mom about it...

But who knows, she might even know all about it already! :-D

ETA: Hope this entry doesn't need an LJ cut; I'm on my dad's computer and I don't seem to be able to do anything the way I'm supposed to be able to with my LJ -- and I can't remember how to do a cut the old fashioned way. ;-) I had to come in by the back door, so to speak, in order to get this to post as it is! Oh, for a nice wireless connection right now. ;-)
shirebound: (Default)

[personal profile] shirebound 2008-06-25 05:08 pm (UTC)(link)
How wonderful for you, Lin.

[identity profile] lin4gondor.livejournal.com 2008-06-26 04:11 pm (UTC)(link)
We are pretty excited! In spite of the fact that it is going to involve lots of work to get organized. ;-)

[identity profile] estellye.livejournal.com 2008-06-25 05:25 pm (UTC)(link)
I just love that icon of the green world lightbulb!

I know what you mean. I had to pretend my mother was sitting next to me in the theater when I first went to see Fellowship of the Ring. It was just all sorts of wrong she wasn't there to see it and be excited about it with me and I was more irritated than sad, too.

I'm so excited for you! I am glad that apartment is working out, it sounded so perfect in that location and all shiny new! I've been missing you with you busy with this and that - or chota mota, as it were. Call me sometime if you have a few minutes! *hugs!*

[identity profile] lin4gondor.livejournal.com 2008-06-26 04:14 pm (UTC)(link)
I was happy to catch you on the phone yesterday!

Yes, we are pleased about how things are going. I know my mom would be as pleased as we are, so that's of some comfort -- even if I can't actually tell her to her face, lol! I'll tell her all about it when I see her again. ;-)

[identity profile] siradaono.livejournal.com 2008-06-25 05:56 pm (UTC)(link)
wonderful changes and new friends await you.

still here, still praying

tom

[identity profile] lin4gondor.livejournal.com 2008-06-26 04:15 pm (UTC)(link)
Thanks! The knowledge of your prayers buoys me up daily!

New apartment

[identity profile] jimbo-baggins.livejournal.com 2008-06-25 07:23 pm (UTC)(link)
Lin,
Congrats on the new adventure in Chicago. Helping assimilate these Pakistani's into the American collective should be a rewarding experience.

Your mom is probably with you and watching you always. At least that's how I believe.

Good luck!

Re: New apartment

[identity profile] lin4gondor.livejournal.com 2008-06-26 04:17 pm (UTC)(link)
We are looking forward to our time in Chicago, that's for sure. And I wouldn't be surprised if my mom is aware -- if not, I'll be sure to tell her all about it when I see her again. Which I will!

[identity profile] fafojoy.livejournal.com 2008-06-25 07:25 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm so glad this has worked out for you to do this work that you so clearly love! I am glad that you're able to have your house in Wisconsin, too.

My neighbor was telling me after her husband died that she never wished him back - clearly he was in a better place - but she remembered getting miffed at him too when she needed him or had something she wanted to tell him etc. And that is how it is I think for believers - we mourn for ourselves and what we've lost. I think it so good that you recognize this with your mom. Is your dad doing well?

[identity profile] lin4gondor.livejournal.com 2008-06-26 04:19 pm (UTC)(link)
We are looking forward very much to this; though we aren't normally big city folk, we think we are going to like living in northern Chicago -- and having Wisconsin as back up will be nice, too.

My dad is doing well. We're going to let him have a bit more independence as soon as we can hook him up with LifeLine, and I think he'll appreciate that.

[identity profile] rowantwig.livejournal.com 2008-06-26 01:34 am (UTC)(link)
Congratulations! Wow, this really does sound like the best of many worlds for you!!!! I hope you continue this journal when you move, because I want to hear all about it. :) Your domineering to-do list sure will look different now that you're no longer "not really doing much of anything" lol!

[identity profile] lin4gondor.livejournal.com 2008-06-26 04:22 pm (UTC)(link)
For someone who is not doing much of anything, I sure to find myself with long to do lists, don't I? :-D Now it will be dominated by deciding what items important to life will fit in our wee place!

I plan to keep journaling for sure, hopefully I'll be better organized about it when we move. There is something about having a real schedule that helps me do better, even if I am technically busier.

[identity profile] telperion1.livejournal.com 2008-06-26 02:25 am (UTC)(link)
It's funny that you talked about this - at my monday counselling appointment I talked about my cousin (who died four years ago this July) and how I missed telling her stuff so badly, and how that was really intense as I'm moving toward reloacting to NYC. So I think I can relate to what you're saying, even though obviously things like this are never the same from person to person.

Regardless, I'm so chuffed that this is finally moving forward for you guys. You guys have such a heart for that people, I'm sure it will work out.

[identity profile] lin4gondor.livejournal.com 2008-06-26 04:25 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm thinking of maybe keeping a journal for those times when I need to tell my mom something, that way at least I am getting it out! I can imagine it's intense for you now, even after 4 years. Time really doesn't change feelings like that much anyway.

I'm pleased you are getting things set up for relocating! It's going to be both fun and terrifying, but it's the right thing to do -- for both of us! I'll be thinking of you, my dear.

(Anonymous) 2008-06-27 01:05 am (UTC)(link)
I started writing(in a journal) to Mom in January. I write to her as if I am sending her a letter and updating her on what the girls are up to. That is what I miss the most is being able to tell her what new word Danielle is saying or what silly things they are doing now. She was always so excited to hear anything about them and there is no one really who can replace that, no one who is that invested in them besides me and my husband. My inlaws are great but I would never call them about some little thing Nicole drew, if I called my mom she would act as though it were a Picasso.
I figure by writing to her my kids will get to read about their childhood and also understand what a special person my mom was.

[identity profile] maidoforange.livejournal.com 2008-06-26 03:18 am (UTC)(link)
((((((Lin)))))). I felt much the same after Grammy died. I kept wanting to call her.

I hope your move to Chicago goes well and that you enjoy living there.

[identity profile] lin4gondor.livejournal.com 2008-06-26 04:26 pm (UTC)(link)
Thanks, dear! I'm glad to know it's something other people have struggled with.

We are looking forward to living there, even if it means packing and moving. I've done that enough that I ought to be able to manage it, though!

[identity profile] mumstheword54.livejournal.com 2008-06-26 11:07 am (UTC)(link)
For a couple of years, I felt that way about both of my parents, as well as my mother-in-law -- even to the point of picking up the phone and almost dialing! There are still times when I wish I could tell them something, and even do so in my mind.

This news is too outstanding! I'm so excited for you folks, to be able to move into this new phase of ministry -- and it sounds as if you've been custom-made for it! What a thrill! What an example of Romans 8:28!

And hurray for finding just the right apartment -- and brand-new too! Does God delight in blessing His children "beyond what we can ask or even imagine," or what?

*hugs and prayers for all of you*

[identity profile] lin4gondor.livejournal.com 2008-06-26 04:29 pm (UTC)(link)
We are pretty excited -- once again, we are learning that God causes all things to work in the time that he has set for them to do so! That makes even packing boxes seem fun. ;-)

Thank you for your prayers and hugs!

[identity profile] chic-too.livejournal.com 2008-06-26 02:46 pm (UTC)(link)
You live such an interesting life.
I understand completely the wanting to call your Mom.
The other day I was reading a really good book and I thought to myself I have to lend this to Mom she is going to love it.

[identity profile] lin4gondor.livejournal.com 2008-06-26 04:31 pm (UTC)(link)
Sometimes our life is too interesting, lol!

It's a weird feeling to have such a strong sense of wanting my mom to know something, but so far I've been able to turn it into a good memory instead of having it be upsetting. I hope that will continue! It's so helpful to know that others who have been through this know exactly what I am talking about.

(Anonymous) 2008-06-27 12:22 am (UTC)(link)
I was just thinking about you and decided to check here. CONGRATS on the apartment. You know, I wouldn't be a bit surprised if your mom wasn't helping things along a little. Love and hugs, LHB

[identity profile] the-tinidril.livejournal.com 2008-06-27 05:15 am (UTC)(link)
Congratulations! I love it when a Plan comes together ;)

[identity profile] tuilelindowen.livejournal.com 2008-06-28 04:59 am (UTC)(link)
Oh, Lin...both my parents are gone and just last week I was wistful thinking of them and not being able to tell them all the amazing things that are happening in my harp life. Thank you so much for your diligence in sharing, all the best to you and your move, I'll be hugging you in my heart.